If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
