the day after is always just damage control
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
