remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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