doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
