I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
