I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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