Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
