No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
