His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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