Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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