This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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