using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
