god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
