Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
