brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you win again, gameday.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
