its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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