I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I got chris browned last night
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
