My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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