Plan B is the new Plan A
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
