omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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