is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
