question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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