dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
