Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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