Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
