i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
