I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
