Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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