mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
