u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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