I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
