Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
