i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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