we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Actions speak louder than pants.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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