Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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