I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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