ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
