real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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