I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
