you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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