tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just gift wrapped bread.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
