btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
