Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We need to get me chipped asap
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
