is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize