O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
