Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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