'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
