check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
