OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
