In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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