I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
