Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
tell me about the eggs
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
