We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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