I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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