I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
