I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
