You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
