her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
