it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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