is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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