just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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